As you may have heard, in January the Coalition of Urban Youth Workers transitioned leadership from co-chairs Walter Sotelo and Kevin Young to me as its new Chairperson. After serving the Coalition for three years in a supportive function as the architect of 20/20 Vision for Schools, it is an honor to have been asked to assume a leadership role again after that assignment ended.

This Monday, February 8, is our regular network meeting from 10-12. In January, Coalition presented a vision for 2010 that includes connecting youth workers, cultivating leadership, collaborative partnerships, and communicating for greater Kingdom effectiveness.

This month, we will unpack those ideals in an effort to bring training resources, collaborative opportunities, and connecting points with other youth workers closer to where we actually serve in ministry.

What: Network and Planning Meeting
Where: Nyack College Manhattan Center
361 Broadway (b/w Leonard and Franklin Streets)
6th Floor Conference Room
When: Monday February 8, 10 am – 12 pm
Who: NYC church and para-church youth workers
Why: Trained youth workers collaborating for exponential Kingdom impact

Please RSVP your attendance via email. Thank you!

In Service,
Jeremy Del Rio

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Let’s Talk about Sex

A sixteen year old boy ogles internet porn on his bedroom PC. His fourteen year old sister listens to Jessica Simpson’s “Sweetest Sin” while text messaging gossip about her fantasy with green eyes. Their twelve year old brother lost his virginity last week.

And mom and dad are still irate about Janet Jackson’s sunburst nipple ring.

It’s time for a little perspective.

True, the Super Bowl half time show was a prime time peep show, and yes, Howard Stern’s raunch putrefies the airwaves. MTV does in fact peddle sex and sexuality to children, while Tony Soprano frequents nude bars and Showtime flaunts “The L-Word.” Hollywood starlets find it “liberating” to take their clothes off on super-sized movie screens; fashion magazines delight in high-gloss sensuality; and a drug-addicted curiosity flashes a talk show host half a dozen times on network TV. Mainstream musicians produce hard core pornography; advertising titillates; Pee Wee Herman is a registered sex offender; Jerry Springer built a career out of showcasing sexual deviants; and an Oscar-winning actress boasts about noncommittal “adult relationships” with “friends.”

But it’s not just entertainers whose “milkshake” brings “the boys to the yard.” Regular folks jump in an out of sexual relationships, and sexual sin plagues many a pulpit. Even biblical heroes were sexually suspect (Samson, David, Solomon, to name just three), and the apostle Paul acknowledged sexual “burn.”

In an age of hyper-sexuality and Lil’ Kim pasties, what are parents to do to protect their children from premature sex besides complain about the FCC? (Incidentally, the FCC exerts exactly no influence over your teenage son when he’s alone with his girlfriend.)

First, clean house. Not your kid’s house; your house. It’s difficult to talk to your teen about lust when Playboy’s anniversary special is hidden in your closet.

Second, communicate more than just “The Talk.” While the birds and bees might be fine, they’re just the beginning. Sexual curiosity is real, and if your child doesn’t feel comfortable looking to you for answers, he’ll find them somewhere else. If you’re not sure what age to begin the dialogue, ask your kid. What does he know already? What would she like to know?

Third, offer accountability, not judgment. The best way to safeguard oneself from secret sin is to expose secret struggles to trusted confidants. If you want to help your child resist sexual temptation, be someone she can trust not to hold her temptations against her.

Fourth, relate, don’t condemn. Except for hardened individuals whose consciences are seared, most people know when they’ve done wrong – or even just thought wrong – and feel terrible about it. Heaping guilt and condemnation (“That was bad!”) breeds helplessness, not hope.

Fifth, seek restoration, not retribution. When sexual failings do occur, as many do, help rebuild and restore your child’s confidence. Instead of “punishing” him by removing privileges, help him define boundaries for his own behavior. Empower success by assisting her in discovering her own capacity for self-control.

Finally, have an ear to hear. Specific behaviors often mask deeper emotional issues. Avoid the temptation to get distracted by the salacious details of individual acts, and press in to discover what’s really going on in the person’s life that would weaken resistance to lust.

God wired us to desire sex as the ultimate expression of love and the means to procreate. That pure desire gets corrupted in a sinful world, becoming a universal thorn in the side for all of us. By maintaining an honest dialogue, adults who care about kids can teach them to manage the thorn and rely on grace.

In other words, talk the SEX talk and walk the SEX walk … with your kids.

Be amused… they are also hysterical.

It’s time for a confession. Even before launching 20/20 in 2008, despite being known is some circles as the 20/20 Vision guy, my work on education reform was mostly theoretical. My passion was real, but day to day, aside from designing and architecting 20/20, my personal involvement actually living 20/20’s engagement paradigm was non-existent.

Why? I haven’t run a community group or helped lead a congregation in almost four years, which means I couldn’t commit an organization to adopt a school for service and advocacy. Nor have I been involved in direct youth work since 2005, so I couldn’t directly empower student leaders to become change agents within their schools. Finally, until this year, my son attended private schools, so engaging a school as a volunteer was difficult.

Then this fall everything changed. My wife and I enrolled Judah in our local public school, P.S. 102. Dropping him off that first day, we were struck by the visual of instructional signs in a dozen or more language plastered on the school entrance. Combined with the traditional clothing worn by many parents, the visible diversity energized us.

A couple of weeks later at an open house, my wife and I were among 14 or 15 parents meeting Judah’s fourth grade teacher for the first time. Only one other parent was obviously born in this country. Accents and surnames suggested that the rest were born in the Middle East, Latin America, Eastern Europe, and Asia.

The following week, I met Judah’s teacher to see how his transition to a new school was going and to learn more about the curriculum. She explained that fourth grade at P.S. 102 emphasizes not just literacy, but more specifically revising and editing written work. As an occasional writer, this both thrilled and concerned me.

Editing happens best one-on-one, but she has 25 students, and twelve or so are learning English as a second language. How could she manage to edit so many kids at various skill-levels at once? She invited me to come in once a week to provide more focused help for students who might need it. Since mid-October, some of my new favorite people are Judah’s classmates. The highlight of my year has been watching their confidence rise along with their literacy.

I met the parent coordinator on Halloween, and she asked if I might have any interest in helping start a writing club. Specifically, she was concerned about budget cuts to the school newspaper, and wanted to explore non-traditional media as a platform for student writing.

Five weeks later, together with a third parent we launched an online journalism club with twelve fourth graders representing all eight fourth grade classes at the school. They named themselves the Journalism Stars, and this week they published the first edition of their Virtual Journal.

We are learning how to celebrate the lives people live out loud each day. Here’s an excerpt about the club:

We are twelve 4th grade students, two parents, and one fearless parent coordinator learning that the most interesting stories are the stories of our lives — the ones we live everyday. Journalism is one way we can capture those stories and celebrate the life of our school with others.

Stories are all around us. … They can inform, persuade, or entertain us. They make us think or feel, and the best stories cause us to do both. …

Every great story has certain elements, like characters, plot, setting, timing, drama, and a purpose. Journalists discover the elements of the stories we tell about people or events by answering six basic questions: Who? What? Where? When? How? and Why?

Each month Our Virtual Journal will publish stories that relate to one of those six question. Our January 2010 issue begins by asking WHO? Who are we at Journalism Stars. And who are some of the interesting characters at PS 102?

Show support to the Journalism Stars at PS 102. They’ve reminded me, once again, what really matters for authentic living. Check them out and leave a comment or two.

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20/20 Vision for Schools proudly announces the hire of its lead architect and visionary Jeremy Del Rio, Esq., as its first executive director, effective January 1, 2010. Jeremy previously served 20/20 as a strategic planning, organizational development, marketing, and program design consultant since its inception in 2007, and has championed the movement through our September 2008 launch and first academic year.

This decision to hire Jeremy aligns with the Action Plan crafted with the input of 120 multi-sector leaders convened on September 18, 2008, for “An Urgent Appeal to Engage a Generation at Risk: Helping Everyone Reach their Highest Potential.”

Executives from the business, government, religious, education, and social sectors – including Newark Mayor Cory Booker; former congressman and pastor of Allen Cathedral Rev. Dr. Floyd Flake; former president of the Girl Scouts of America and founding chair of the Leader-to-Leader Institute Francis Hesselbein, Former Philadelphia Mayor and Amachi founder Dr. Wilson Goode, Service Master founder William Pollard, and many more – gathered explicitly “to initiate an actionable plan and model to help New York City school-aged youth reach their highest potential.” Organizations represented included the United Federation of Teachers, Teach For America, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Cornell University, New York University, Deutsche Bank, M&T Bank, WMCA Radio/Salem Communications, Dow Corning Corp., Princeton Theological Seminary, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, American Express Business Travel, The West Paces Hotel Group, World Vision, Latino Pastoral Action Center, Pomeroy Capital Hedge Fund, and others.

Together, they concluded that America’s crisis in public schools is first and foremost a crisis of leadership. A systematic refusal to accept accountability for chronic underperformance has permitted decades of institutional failure, which has placed current and future generations at risk of social unrest and decay. Comprehensive reform requires multi-sector, collaborative strategies led by men and women willing to commit, as Geoffrey Canada of Harlem Children’s Zone says, “to fix this problem … to put politics aside and do what’s right for America’s children.”

Students who began first grade in September 2008 are the high school graduating class of 2020 – the generation for whom 20/20 intends to make good on the promise of public education. But to manifest sustainable, systemic change requires catalytic and creative leaders who are empowered to champion the movement moving forward. The consensus of 20/20 Vision’s founding partners, The New York City Leadership Center and The Coalition of Urban Youth Workers, is that Jeremy Del Rio is such a leader, and we welcome him into his new role.

Facilitated by David Bryant and Steve Millazo

Augustine:

“He who has Christ has everything. He who has everything but does not have Christ has nothing. He who has everything plus Christ has no more than he who has Christ alone.”

A Christ-awakening is beginning in Rahway State Prison. 200 inmates gather for prayer and worship each work.

Colossians written to the smallest church in the smallest city. Paul had never actually been there, yet he writes such a grand portrait to reveal “the mysteries of Christ” (Colossians 2). Paul understood that it’s not the size of the congregation that matters for the advancement of the Kingdom. It’s the size of our vision of Christ.

Isaac Watts hymn “I Sing the Mighty Power of God.”

OVER us:

As the King OVER all creation and the Cosmos
As the Lord OVER the unfolding and outcome of history
As the Sovereign OVER all nations, languages and peoples
As the Ruler OVER all authorities in each sphere of human endeavor
As the Master OVER all heavenly hosts and demonic forces
As the Head OVER the one Body of Christ in Heaven and earth

BEFORE us:
As the one who goes BEFORE us into the new creation of God
As the one who goes BEFORE us into the holy presence of God
As the one who goes BEFORE us into the grand promises of God
As the one who goes BEFORE us into the eternal triumphs of God

Testimony Steve Millazo, Pastor Bethlehem Assembly of God
Death has been close to me. Dad died at 4. Mon was a 26 year old widow with 4 kids. Stepdad died at 14. Both sisters-in-law died of cancer within 8 weeks

At 19, survived a near fatal car accident. Met Jesus afterwards
In August 2009, survived a jet ski collision. This time had confidence where he would go if he didn’t survive.

God has gone before us, along with the hosts of heaven… This is the hope that I have… Christ died and He rose and He’s coming again, and death CANNOT separate us from the love of God.